Enjoying the Moment
Honestly life has been great so far, and I only it will only get better. I used to dread summers, as in the past my summers have been filled with boredom and loneliness, but this summer has been the complete opposite. Every single day something new has come up and I have been having fun experiences. I went to Mexico with my family last week which was really fun. All my homies are also back in town and through starting to play magic the gathering, I have made new friends as well. I also started to go to different coffee shops to get work done as that has been something I always wanted to do but never had the chance in SD. I have been hitting the gym consistently and also improving my basketball skills to hopefully one day ball out on the homies. Living at home as been great too, and made me feel even more grateful for my parents.
However there is always this underlying anxiety that comes and goes, that asks me, “What if things get worse or what if something bad happens.” This questions often comes up whenever I’m feeling that life is good and things are going well, I start to wonder “When will things get bad.” In the past I used to ponder this question, but now a days I try to ignore those thoughts and focus on the moment. Its always a battle and sometimes my mind pushes against me and forces me to consider the worst. However as I have gotten older and more confident, I have been able to win against my mind and force it to consider the positives. I also sincerely believe that the Universe wants me to win or learn. There are no bad moments, simply lessons. I am now doing my best to just let myself be happy and not feel guilty about it or worried that the happiness will fade. Because the happiness will fade as life is all about ups and downs and I know it will return soon enough. I am now doing my best to enjoy the moment and take things one day at a time, instead of projecting into the future as I once did. Life is unpredictable, but I believe whatever happens will always benefit me, even though I do not see the benefits right away.
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