Reflections, Reflections, Reflections

On Friday me and Sriram went to a fire Italian restaurant called Mama D’s in Newport Beach. It was a wonderful time filled with great food and great conversation. As soon as we got there we found parking very easily even though it was a Friday evening. The hospitality was great from the start and we felt very welcomed. I have rarely been to a mom and pop Italian restaurant and honestly I want to go to more. Italian food is so fire and so comforting. Most likely because it just Carbs, that increase our serotonin after we consume it but hey its still fire food. They even gave us this fire garlic bread as we waited for our seats. Then they gave us a paper which covered their vision and belief, and then Sriram told me about the concept of synchronicity. (which is defined as the occurrence of meaningful coincidences that seem to have no cause). When you truly believe you think the Universe wants you to win, it will show you signs that will make you think and you will resonate with it as well. There are certain feelings that these random events will evoke, it will feel as if you are lucky and the universe is hearing your desires.

On Saturday, my sister and I went to a Keshi concert at the Greek Theater. It made me realize how much I take for granted the access I have to these kinds of events because I live in LA. After visiting Tulsa and Joplin in the Midwest, I gained a new appreciation for where I live. As it has been almost a year since I last visited those places, I have started to take full advantage of my community and the resources around my city. It’s crazy to me that I am able to go to the gym, go to a driving range, go to a book store, go to get some boba, go get any kind of cultural cuisine from the world, and go pick up some MTG cards all in a 15 minute radius. Having access to this kind of power and opportunity is not available everywhere in the world. I am grateful for having access to places where I can invest in my interests. The LA area is my favorite because so many things are accessible. One night I can enjoy some great Italian food with Sriram at Newport, and the next night I can go to the Greek Theater to see Keshi. By the way, Keshi was very good and inspired me to keep pushing towards my goals and dreams.

Sometimes, I feel like I am running out of time, but I constantly remind myself that I have plenty of time. If I use that time to work towards my goals and dreams, instead of worrying about how I feel behind in life, who knows how much my life could change in the next two years. It's also crazy to think that I have seen all of my favorite artists live. It all started with BTS, then Drake, Kanye, Lil Baby, Baby Keem, Kendrick, Big Sean, Jhene Aiko, Post Malone, and now Keshi. I still have to see Travis Scott and hopefully, I will have my own show one day. I need to be grateful for the experiences I have had and understand that they bring value to my life.

On Monday, I had a lot of fun playing golf with Eshaan and two other friends. I'm grateful that I have people who are excited to play with me and share my hobbies. Growing up, I didn't share many interests with my friends and family. I was also scared to share my interests, fearing that people would judge me and leave me. However, I have learned that this is not the case. People appreciate me for my differences and my own interests. If I try to act like others, I'm of no use to them. I also realized that I like others for their differences, and through these differences, I can learn from them and be inspired. Being myself has brought a lot of fear and anxiety, but others have only shown positive support. It's crazy to me that people enjoy spending time with me and value my presence. I'm thankful for my friend V, who helped me realize my worth and that my friends like me for who I am. I used to fear that I needed to constantly entertain people to keep them around, which only added to my social anxiety. However, I've learned that I don't need to do this and can approach interactions authentically, responding as my true self.

On Monday night, I had a life-changing conversation with Sriram. I am grateful to him for listening to me and helping me gain clarity on the issues I was facing. It is invaluable to have someone who knows me and wants the best for me. I realize that not everyone has this privilege, and that many people don't even have close friends. I am grateful to have all of you reading this and supporting me. Your support motivates me and helps me and when I am hit with dark thoughts, I know that my friends can show me the light.

Here are a list of realizations I gained from talking to Sriram:

• What do I want to do? We always know the answer
• Don’t stress about life for this week, let things happen, and focus on what you enjoy doing
• Invest in people that been the ones closest to you, spending time with them and focusing on them will make life better
• You are at a moment where you have people that will be there and care for you and will not leave
• Your room should work for you and no one else
• Have elements in your room that inspire you
• Don’t feel forced to be on your computer, see it as a tool for your creative endeavors and research, such as editing a YouTube video or writing a blog post, if your not doing those things then you don’t have to use it
• It’s fine if you don’t use technology for a day and just read or spend time outside.
• Technology are tools and your just slowly reducing your internet addiction which is a good thing
• Reading more books is a good thing
• Don’t stress about anything non physical
• Your life has only improved and it will keep doing so
• This week live life the way you want it. Not how you should or with society’s perception
• Ask yourself, would you do X if you already had a girlfriend?
• Live the way you want to, the universe will accommodate

Thank you for reading, let’s grow together!