Why do you Suffer?

We have to understand suffering before we can understand peace. To really appreciate the days where you can do what you like and spend time on activities that bring you joy, you must spend days where you are on the brink of tears and hustling away to survive. Both are necessary and both are human. One without the other, our lives become meaningless. Days last year in which I could do whatever I wanted everyday brought me so much pain. Being directionless and having no structure led me into the dark routine of meaningless pleasure. Ever since I have started to work in the clinic, my life has improved. Not because I really enjoy what I am doing, but because it forced me to value my time. The less time we have the more we value it, and vice versa. Last year in SD where I had all my days to myself I struggled to find meaning and then ended up self-sabotaging pursuing meaningless projects that ultimately lead to where I am now.

Last week in the clinic was quite the grind, as we were very busy and Thursday especially. My responsibilities are like every other assistant, do whatever is told of me. I feel as a man the only purpose I have to others is to fulfill requests, without must care about who I am and what I am going through. Although some can be blessed to find coworkers that care for them in their work, this can be rather rare. Working itself causes most people to enter a negative mindset in which they are grinding away achieving some one else dreams. Most people are sleep-deprived and stressed out, thus becoming increasingly self-absorbed. When we are in these states, our ability to empathize decreases and we become apathetic to the world around us. However we must work if we want to survive and that is the dilemma of modern life. A way around this is to ask yourself how is working helping you achieve your own dreams.

I cannot work for someone else’s dream, that is something that I cannot do. Even if I were to work for someone else, it is because in someway working for them, helping them achieve their dreams, is helping me achieve my dreams. As we grow and age every job and every endeavor we take on, we must know why we are doing it. We must know the why, otherwise we will become the adults we fear to be.

However the grind last week in the clinic, made my Friday and Saturday the best days of my life. I was able to just do what I wanted and engage in hobbies and activities that reminded myself why I grind and I suffer. I also spent a lot of time catching up with friends and just hanging out, another reason why I grind and why I suffer. I would love to spend my days, golfing, working out, making videos, eating good food, playing MTG, and hanging out with friends and family. However without suffering I would not appreciate these moments of peace and joy. We must have the reason for why we suffer because otherwise we just suffer. Those adults that are mindlessly working are just suffering because they don’t have a reason why they suffer. They don’t have a dream they are working towards, a family to fight for, or a goal they are trying to reach.

What is the reason why you suffer?

Thanks for reading, let’s grow together :)